Many of us have become so used to being triggered that feeling anger, fear, anxiousness or sadness on a daily basis have become the norm.
You know that feeling you get when you feel hot and you can feel your heart racing and your blood starting to boil - this is an emotional trigger.
Triggers can be uncomfortable, hard to admit and even painful. And yet ignoring them is going to lead to a lifetime of being held hostage by your own emotions, destroying the relationship you have with yourself and others.
We put so much blame on the other person when really we need to be looking at ourselves.
Emotional triggers are opportunities for growth and can teach us so much about ourselves and who we want to be in the future.
What are triggers?
They can be words, phrases, actions, sounds, smells, behaviours, environments or situations that create an emotional response. It can also manifest in physical responses like sweating, feeling dizzy, heart palpitations, feeling sick, muscle tightness...
Many triggers are subconscious and difficult to control so we think we are damaged in some way. When actually its just an experience we haven't processed yet.
Why do we get triggered?
We are triggered because our brain associates something that is happening now to something that has happened in the past. It perceives whats happening as a threat/danger going into fight or flight creating the emotional response.
For example:
Were you constantly criticised by one of your parents?
In their eyes you couldn't do anything right and now whenever you receive any sort of constructive criticism or feedback you can't take it? You can't take it because it immediately makes you feel inadequate and unworthy.
Did your Mum take her anger out on the kitchen cupboards?
When you hear somebody slam a cupboard even if it was by accident do you feel triggered by it? Its the loud noise that triggers you that immediately takes your back to when your Mum used to do it. It can make you feel like you have done something wrong and impact your relationships.
How can your triggers be your opportunity for growth?
Your triggers are mini warnings that you have something unresolved that needs to be healed.
We need to find the root of the trigger and complete the cycle so that you are no longer triggered, so you can be free and more in control of your reactions.
You can start by:
Recognising what triggers you and which emotions come up - make a note of the details including who is involved, what has triggered you and how you felt in your body at the time
Identify the thoughts and behaviour you have as a result of the trigger
Notice how this trigger affects your life - How often does it happen? How does it impact your relationships? How does it impact your job?
Learn to regulate your emotions so you can move through them when they come up
Talk about your triggers with people closest to you - so if you are triggered by your partner coming home late, tell him to message you when he is leaving work late because you know it will make you anxious otherwise
How can you be free from your triggers?
Getting to the root of the issue through somatic healing work is one of the best ways to free yourself from the triggers in your life, so you are no longer feeling guilty for not accepting constructive criticism or spending the evening wondering if your partner is angry with you for slamming the kitchen cupboard.
This type of healing takes you back to the root, releases the emotions and energy that needs to be released so you this trigger no longer holds you back.
Plus you learn the tools you need to address any future smaller triggers so you can fully be aware and self sufficient when it comes to your emotional responses.